Hardcover, 324 Pages

Compliments of the Public Library

Book Synopsis

Doug Lee is undead quite by accident—attacked by a desperate vampire, he finds himself cursed with being fat and fifteen forever. When he has no luck finding some goth chick with a vampire fetish, he resorts to sucking the blood of cows under cover of the night. But it’s just not the same. Then he meets the new Indian exchange student and falls for her—hard. Yeah, he wants to bite her, but he also wants to prove himself to her. But like the laws of life, love, and high school, the laws of vampire existence are complicated—it’s not as easy as studying Dracula. Especially when the star of Vampire Hunters is hot on your trail in an attempt to boost ratings.… (Goodreads)

Review

Doug wakes as a vampire....he doesn't really remember being turned, he just knows he's fifteen, fat and needs to find a chick that will dig his new status. He's thirsty, confused and has a bit of depression on the side but other than the fantasy of screwing some random gal on top of the Batmobile and making it to the Comic Con, Doug really doesn't have any goals. Or aspirations. Or loyalty. Or any other redeeming quality's.

The easiest way to say this is that Fat Vampire was just not for me....I loved, loved the cover and the hilarious thought of a fat vampire....but unfortunately everything just fell flat. Doug was a hard character to like, he actually was an easy character to hate. His raunchy humor the first few pages did bring a little laugh but after 100 pages of the same tasteless crap I just got annoyed. I realize his character had major insecurities with being fat, a vampire and worst of all -a chick repellent, but as the story unfolds Doug never becomes better....he gets more cocky, more crude and just a douche. He's mean, dumps his friend and gets physco with his girlfriend. Nothing ever really happens in the story, characters are introduced and then just vanish, plot lines are presented and then disappear. A tough gal is introduced and then she as well as the story just kind of tumble off somewhere to make-no-sense land. The rest of the characters did nothing to counter Doug's unlikable character and besides some funny parts, I guess Ive grown past the stage where farts and stinky boys are entertaining.

A tasteless romp with a lacking superhero and a lacking plot line. Not to mention a ridiculous villain and a dimwit chick. Basically just a vulgar story that made Fat Vampire anything other than not stand out.

Rating

Fat Vampire is a raunchy, offensive novel full of graphic language, taboo subjects, violence, graphic sexuality, disrespectful teens, crude boy humor and glorified underage teen drinking. For a book marketed to 15 year olds its ridiculous, I wouldn't recommended this novel because it wasn't for me, for readers interested in this it has R rated content and would be more suited for teens 17 and up.

1.5/5- YA, Vampire, Comedy