January 17th 2013 by Razorbill (first published May 9th 2011-Indie)
Paperback, 524 Pages
Young Adult-Contemporary
Purchased

Emma is a pro at hiding herself, even with her talented skills as a basketball player and being the best friend of a popular girl at school, Emma blends into the background and always keeps herself out of the spotlight and detached from becoming to close to anyone. Its not that Emma doesn't want these things, she does, but in the sense of self preservation and the overwhelming embarrassment that has befallen her life, she keeps to herself and tells no one the truth. The shocking truth being that even as a teenager who can take care of herself, and one you would never see as needing help, is and has been suffering horrendous abuse at the hands of her Aunt. After losing her parents, Emma was sent to live with her dads brother, for years she has lived with the secret of her abuse, which slowly turned from ugly taunts and harsh chores to severe physical assaults. Nobody knows about it, and while her best friend Sara suspects issues are going on she never tells anyone or pushes Emma to reveal her secrets, she only attempts to make life easier by buying her clothes, dressing her up, taking her out when they can fool her aunt and encouraging Emma to take risks, especially with new guys. However guys are the least of Emma's worries, until she meets new boy in school Evan. A guy who knows nothing about her, the rumors or her past.

Emma has always kept her distance when it comes to dating and even making new friends, in the fear of someone finding out her secret her walls have always been high and concrete, she doesn't go out or even act like a normal teenager. Slowly with an ever increasing attraction, Evan seems to be able to scale her walls and break down all her defenses, to the point that Emma is willing to sneak around to see him, even if it means being beaten later. As the two grow closer Evan can see something is not right with Emma, something that is dark and something he desperately wants to save her from. Emma fights him at every turn, years of mental abuse and the fear of her little cousins being thrown into foster care have programmed Emma so deeply she can't turn her aunt in, she cant tell her secret, the only thing she can do is get to graduation and not let people in. As Evan gets closer to the truth and Sara figures things out, she pushes them away choosing isolation instead without knowing its the worst mistake of her life.

Reason to Breathe was an intense read, outside of the frightening physical torture and assaults that came randomly, the daily abuse and mental stress of not knowing what each day would bring was truly heartbreaking to watch the main character go through. The name calling and emotional abuse to the agonizing chores and outrageous regulations Emma had to follow was in itself just awful reading, highly due to the fact that Emma is such a frustrating character. On one hand its hard to understand with the support system around her why she would choose to keep her secret, on the other though from a physiological stand point it makes complete sense. While I really enjoyed the social commentary and drama and understood why the other characters didn't do anything in the beginning, I did find a few things problematic that I felt threw off the dynamic of Emma's character. I loathed the "Drew" phase, it was unneeded and annoying. I also had a hard time with some central adults in the book who did nothing to help Emma even when they saw it and decided to keep quiet until things had escalated so profoundly their help in the end came a little to late. Its unfortunately a sad reality that most often happens concerning abused children, we look the other way, we keep quiet to long and we fail to rescue these kids trapped in a world they have no control over.

Overall even with a few hiccups along the way, this story packs a punch. Im still picking my jaw off the floor at the genius of Rebecca Donovan's heartbreaking, emotional read and traumatic ending.

Rating

Reason to Breathe is recommended to mature teens and adults 17&up and contains: Mild sexuality, strong language and graphic-violent physical abuse concerning a child/teen.

4/5-Notable Read