Breathing Underwater by Alex Flinn
May 1, 2001 by Harper Teen
Paperback, 263 Pages {New Cover Featured}
Borrowed/Library

Who is Nick Andreas? He is that aloof, popular good looking guy that makes girls stare and guys want to be like him. At least that's what they see at school, a cool rich, confidant guy who can get any girl he wants. What they don't see is the terrorized little boy that he is inside. The nights he spends hiding in his room for fear that his father will hit him again and the desperate loneliness that follows him. Since his mother's abandonment of him as a young child, Nick really has faced his abuse and torment alone. Even his best friend doesn't know the evil that lives behind Nick's walls, but its all good, Nick knows how to pretend and he knows how to keep secrets.

When Nick meets Caitlin his world is thrown for a loop, shes everything he wants, from the quiet shy demeanor of her personality to her sparkling beauty she radiates the love that he's been looking for. The two quickly become an item and things at first are good but shortly into the relationship Nick begins to notice things that he doesn't like, for instance, Caitlin will smile at other boys, she loves to sing and wants to be in talent shows that take time away from him, or how she is still insecure about her weight even after having lost some. He also notices that he doesn't like her friends, especially her nerdy best friend who is always giving him the stink eye and he doesn't like the way her bathing suit draws the eyes of his guy friends.......she must be controlled, because Caitlin is Nicks and Nick will not tolerate a free thinking, flirtatious girlfriend.

And so it begins, the little things that will help Caitlin behave, like the subtle yet hurtful digs at her weight and her singing voice, the ultimatums of ditching her friends or losing him forever. The slow but aggressive build up to a sexual attachment and the use of it against her once she does. The dark twisted manipulation of making her stop doing things outside of school, terrorizing her with fear and when all else fails, the horrible punishment with Nick's fists. Caitlin in her insecurity realizes she's in trouble and with the help of a few friends manages to get away from Nick but this story isn't about what happens to Caitlin, its about Nick and the consequences of that relationship landing him in a courthouse with a sentence of rehabilitation. As he go's through therapy we as readers see inside the workings of his mind, and as much as we want to hate his character we cant help but want to save him too. Its a twisted up bag in the game of tug and war.

Breathing Underwater was very unsettling, but the most honest look into domestic abuse dealing with teenagers that Ive read outside of Jennifer Browns Bitter End. Even with its dated lingo the subject matter and teen behavior was highly relevant for today's culture. I loved how the author gave us this story from the abusers side, we saw right into Nick's thoughts and the confusing emotional rollerskates he was on. For fiction Im happy that Nick in the end could become a redeeming character and be saved by the cycle of abuse in his generational family of men, because statistically speaking in most cases these boys grow up to be domestic abusers and never get the help they need, they are so far gone that they wind up hurting or killing the women they are with. Its such a scary heart breaking reality, but one that should be addressed openly.

Thanks to Rummanah from Books in the Spotlight for pointing this one out to me and spreading the news about this particular book being challenged in schools. While parts of the book are difficult because of the violence and graphic because of the things Nick thinks about, its a book I think teenage girls would gain more benefit than scandal from reading. Flinn lays it all out there and shows step by step the abuse process....yes girls he's hot, he's popular, he's your dream guy....but here is the catch, it begins with controlling, name calling, putting you down, playing on your insecurities, scaring you, threatening you and then physically assaulting you. These are the yellow and red flags that women need to be aware of and need to run from. Get help and tell someone if these things are happening to you!

A quick read in a shocking reality of truth.

Rating

Breathing Underwater is recommended to mature teens {16&up} and contains: Sexuality {mostly thoughts} strong and crass language, drinking, mentions to drug use and severe violence including: child abuse, domestic abuse, spousal abuse, boy on girl violence, emotional, verbal and mental abuse that focuses on controlling, dominating and name calling.

4/5- YA-Contemporary